I need to travel some more.

I've also been to Puerto Rico and Canada.

Create Your Own Visited States Map

My birds won't chirp for you.

Hyena posse ran into my boyfriend and told him "we heard your birds chirping!" :D

Listen here, bitches.
Our birds chirp when we're home, when we're watching tv, when I walk near the watering can. They DON'T chirp when the sun comes up because I have black-out drapes, but they chirp when they hear me get out of bed 'cause they "know" they're gonna see me. They chirp when I put my key in the door. I know because I've stood outside my door to listen for my dogs and I've never heard the birds. Did I mention it's dark from the black-out drapes? They DON'T chirp at my boyfriend because they know he's not going to feed them. And they sure as hell don't chirp in a dark apartment when no one is home.

Right now I am sitting at my computer, out of sight, and there is no chirping going on ... so wtf are you talking about??

When they run into me, I get comments like "oh! You still live here??"
I will slash a tire on your hybrid and then skip AND CHIRP my ass back home.

Keep playing.

Don't tell me what to do

Several years ago (before 9/11), I was a quiet stay-at-home mom ... (ok, so I was never quiet 😂) I had a job valet parking cars.

Do you know how hard it is to get a job in valet? You have to KNOW someone. There are people literally waiting for someone with a valet job to DIE so they can have a shot at the position.
I this case, I did ... or my ex did.
I didn't even know I was looking for a job. 🤷🏽
He just came home one day, told me they were hiring for valet at such-n-such place.
I was thinking cool, is he getting a second job?
Then he lays a bomb on me ... The job was for me. 💣
Here was the application. They're holding interviews in a couple of days. He told me the lady's name to put down as a reference.
(sigh) "What about the kids?" We were working different shifts, so someone would alway be home.
Alright. But, still ... 😔
I filled out the application and got hired (of course!) because, you know, I knew someone.

There was the interview, orientation, because working in a big casino is a big deal, this is your new family and families have rules.
No joke.
There was even a uniform fitting.
Man, I was so nervous.
I was always home with the kids, but this wasn't so bad. I was outdoors, kind of. I was the valet "booth bitch"! Yeah, that's what you're known as.
Term of endearment. I'm SURE, lol. At the end of the night it was customary to tip out your booth bitch, so call me whatever you want. 💰

The first day was a blur of faces, I had to start on the night when there's a comedy show or something letting out. Hundreds of cars going in and out and I didn't lose any keys. 🙏🏼

The lady training me was a sweetheart.
There was a curly-haired lady who taught me to drive stick some months later.
There was a black chick who liked to push my buttons to see what it would take for me to push back. 🤨 I pushed back fast cause she was trying to intimidte me.😑
She was impressed. We became friends and that got me in with her clique.
There was the lady who "got me" the job ... "oh, hey, hi!" She nodded her head at me. Oh? ... alright then. 🤷🏽
Our boss was a cool guy, very animated, always talking about his kids.
And then about half a dozen more guys ... just faces.

The next day when I saw my ex I thought it was strange he asked me to sit down and tell him who I met.
O_o "wha ...?" I didn't MEET anyone, they threw me into work, I was training.
I must've met someone he persisted, what are their names? Um, our boss Frank ... Melanie.
He was losing his patience quick, he knows Melanie, she's the one who got me the job.
(THINK!) Dorothy ... Kurt ... Ben ...
... and he fucking SNAPPED!!
He scared me half to death. He started yelling "STAY AWAY FROM BEN! DON'T TALK TO HIM! DID HE SAY ANYTHING TO YOU?!"
Omg, nothing! They just ask me for keys. (WTF!)

2nd day at work, more of the same. I had a pretty good shift. The shows are in the evening so there's money to be made. 💰
Just collect the slip from the person in front of you, find the keys, and hand them to a fellow-valet at the back window.
Easy peasy. Just do it fast and know your alphabet, LOL

Break time comes around and several people can go eat at the same time since it's slow, that way we're all come back in time for the next rush.
I go up, get in line, find something I like to eat ... now I have to find somewhere to sit ...
I spot Ben sitting alone, studying some book while he eats.
I walk right up to him holding my tray and say "Hi! you're going to be my new best friend".

[SOO ballsy and out of character for me. But my ex liked to use me as a punching bag. I wanted to know what was going on so I could be prepared if he wanted to start yelling for no reason again.]

Ben stared at me like "WTF", closed his book and put it aside as I sat down.
I didn't give him a choice.
I started right off with: "Tell me why my husband doesn't want me talking to you."
He countered with: "You don't like being told what to do."
Very observant. (His book turned out to be some psychology textbook.)
He smiled and asked: "Who's your husband?"
I'm glad he's amused. 😑
me: Manny.
him: .. .. ..
me: Manny #######.
him: I don't know any Manny.
me: (I broke it down for him) I got this job thru Melanie. She's married to Brian. Brian works with my hus-...
💡💡💡The lightbulb that when on over his head and lit up the whole damn dining room.
He gave a sly smile, held his hand up for me to stop and said: ✋🏼"Don't trust Melanie".

It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on, and Ben filled in the blanks for me.
Melanie and Ben had had a fling. That's all it was to Ben but apparently Melanie was prepared to leave her husband over it.
Ben had a wife and about 5 kids. He said he wasn't going anywhere.
I was supposed to spy on Ben and Melanie and see what was going on at work, but I can't be a good spy if the ex doesn't tell me what I'm looking for, can I?

Me and Ben became really good friends! 🤣
He was nice. Same warped sense of humor as me.
We never talked at work unless Melanie ran to the bathroom or we were alone.
There was always a mischievous glint in his eyes if the three of us happened to be in the same place. Melanie barely talked to me unless she needed keys. Ben didn't think it was awkward at all, he thought it was a fucking riot. Like, he KNEW no one was going to break the silence to exchange any pleasantries, and he KNEW I wasn't to report shit to anyone.
I wish I knew what Melanie's deal was. She tipped me out like everyone else did, but it was like she was pissed by my presence.
While I was busy NOT spying on Melanie and NOT saying anything ('cause I don't care who she's sleeping or not sleeping with), that bitch was spying on ME and telling her husband shit to relay to my ex!
He would know how much I got tipped out.
If I stopped to talk to someone or ask a question it was like "why were you talking to Anthony at 7:13 by the elevators?"
me: Anthony. Who the fuck is Anthony?
my ex: the luggage guy.
me: is that his name? lol ... (then) holy fuck, how do you know that? He asked me to get a fucking cart! Damn 😑

I had to be careful who I talked to if I didn't want something innocent being blown out of proportion.

Well, Ben had warned me.

I HOPE my ex sees this cause we even kept in touch even after I left that job.
Checkmate, bitch!!