Why isn't there a red "ice cream truck" driving around selling ice cream + pads, tampons, chick-flicks, bonbons, tissue boxes, and heating pads??
... with a grand-motherly type that hands out a complimentary pack of chamomile tea, pats your hand and says "there, there, dear".
... and the driver would offer compliments like "smile girl, you look good today" even though your curlers are falling out of your hair, your face is tear-streaked with yesterday's makeup, you're all bloated and breaking out like you're 13 again.
... I haven't thought of a good jingle for the truck but someone needs to run with this idea. There's money to be made. I, for one, would throw money at someone if they drove up with chocolate ice cream and tampons.
... should the truck be red or pink? Red screams bloody emergency, which it IS ... but maybe something softer.
... there are no mirrors anywhere on the truck (the side-view mirrors point to the sky), but there a lot of inspirational quotes: "She ain't Shit" ... "You're curvy and beautiful" ... "Hit him with a phonebook" ... "We're at IHOP" (inside joke). OK, so semi- inspirational quotes.
... then neighbors would see you and be like, oh shit, better steer clear of that bitch this week ... she's at the period truck.
... it can't be a stationary location because think of the fights that would break out ... "what are you LOOKING ATTTT?" ... "the fuck did you say to me!?"
... it can't be driven by a woman during HER time of the month because she'll just be plowing thru people ... DIE, YOU DUMB BITCH! ... yeah, I got your tampon right here ... shoves it in the buyers' face ... buyer pulls her out the window ... fight..., well you know. This is a very vivid scenario in my head. LOL
#TheseFuckingCrampsAreKillingMe
